Afraid to say, “I love you …”

Why do these three words stick in our throats when it comes to someone special, when every Tom, Dick and Harriet, from Hollywood celebs to Oprah’s guests, babble on and on saying, “I just love you … I love him … I love her …?” Here’s a six minute video of one young couple struggling through a few awkward questions and the “big one.”

Of course, the bigger question is what does “I love you” really mean?  Something different in every situation? For every person? For every relationship (partner, friend, family, Oprah, Brad Pitt, Ariana Grande, Jon Bon Jovi)? One thing is for sure, it’s perhaps the poorest defined phrase in the English language, any language. Always has been.

In truth, what defines it is not language, it’s action.

“Watch my feet, not my mouth.”

This video is one of several embedded in the Your Tango article, Tips for Solving Relationship Problems.


We don’t know what we don’t know

Getting past the fear of saying “I love you …” (when you do love), stems more from ignorance than anything else.

“The best way out is through.” –  Robert Frost, A Servant of Servants

We are ignorant about love and the only path out of ignorance is through knowledge and most of the knowledge we need is found in books. There are more books written on love than perhaps any other human emotion and yet, we still struggle to define it, explain it or understand it.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, is a book – a bestseller – that’s a good place to start. We suggest you buy two so both of you have your own copies to read, mark up and compare notes.

Fear is overcome by courage, courage is anchored in understanding, and understanding starts with knowledge.

The 5 Love Languages is available in the Love & Sexcess Bookstore (25% off).

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