“I was judged for having sex after my husband died. I think he would have understood.”
Everyone grieves differently and our biological chemistry drives an overwhelming need to find pleasure and happiness amid dark loneliness. Sex can give you that agency when life seems pointless.
For many, the idea of sex in the midst of the grieving process is irrational but that point of view is anchored in ignorance, ignorance of how our biological needs function and the clash of the human emotions of joy and sorrow (read Kahlil Gibran’s poem Joy and Sorrow in The Prophet).
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” – Kahlil Gibran
More to the point, these two articles and short story, Grieving Sex, will help replace ignorance with enlightenment – especially if you ever have to try and understand someone in grief.
From Washington Post:
Grieving Sex (5 minute short story): Can the joy of sex overcome the pall of death?