If BDSM is good for Billions how many people are …

really into it? Tens-of-millions. And millions fantasize about it

(2 min read)

“64.6% of Canadian women had fantasies about being dominated sexually. 53.3% of men fantasized about being dominated sexually.” – Journal of Sexual Medicine

Eight times more Canadian women fantasize about BDSM than watch the TV show Billions. Men too. BDSM is much more common and popular than thought and research shows that BDSM people have healthy sex lives and “no more psychology disorders than the general population.”

Chuck Rhoades (photo: Pinterest)

Behind the scenes

The American Psychiatric Association’s bible of mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, has removed BDSM from its list of mental illnesses. The stars of Billions, Chuck and Wendy Rhoades know it’s not an illness, and a recent article in The Ringer provides an in depth look at the thinking, planning and acting behind Wendy and Chucks’ BDSM television adventure.

This is a wonderful example of art imitating reality, of ‘sex education’ for the general public. In the show, it is well done – more authentic than Fifty Shades of Grey – and because the character of Wendy Rhoades is every bit a self-confident, independent woman, it opens the door for a conversation for couples who are intellectually and sexually curious. Talking about it doesn’t have to mean doing it. Or …?

Brian Koppelman, co-creator of Billions, says it’s about Chuck relinquishing the power that he wields during the day and becoming submissive to power. It’s not kink because power, vulnerability and submission are deeply, emotionally connected and they can lead to an exciting exploration into a healthy, more fulfilling sex life. The fascinating part in the show is when Chuck rips the cover off his vulnerability and decides to go public with his secret sex life in order to save his political career.

“I am a masochist. In order to achieve sexual gratification, I need to be tied up, punched, pinched, whipped, kicked, or otherwise tortured. By my loving wife. And here’s the bigger truth. All of us need something, right?” – Chuck Rhoades

Whether we all “need something” like this or not is a partnership question but it can be very beneficial for loving couples if they understand how some aspects of BDSM (restraint, spanking, etc.) might be hidden in the emotions of the other partner. (See the surprising numbers of its popularity, fantasy and curiosity under Sex by the Numbers).

The creators of the show have introduced to the public the honesty of BDSM and not used it as a sex prop to sensationalize. As Maggie Siff (Wendy) said, “I didn’t want [BDSM] to be used in a sordid, salacious way.” Koppelman said, “Wendy, from the beginning, was the linchpin for us … because the two guys, their souls aren’t in the balance so much. But her soul’s in the balance.” Many more women should emulate Wendy’s strength, independence and loving concern for their partner.

For a behind-the-scenes look, read the full interview, ‘We All Need Something,’ in The Ringer and in less time than it takes to eat your lunch (12 min read), you can gain a little insight that just might spark both your imagination and your sex life.

Read more of Billions article, We All Need Something at The Ringer >>

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