“Sex debt” is no joke and …

41-year-old comedian, Melanie Hamlett has kicked-open the library door. She’s smart, independent and funny – and free from “sex debt.”

There are many reasons women don’t get what they want in bed – all unacceptable – but Melanie Hamlett has found a way, her way, to be a kick-ass, independent woman and get what she wants. And share it with us, laughing all the way to honesty and reality.

“When I learned to say ‘no,’ my sex life finally became about my pleasure.” – Melanie Hamlett

Here’s a great article  she wrote for Glamour, Forget being Nice – I’m Getting What I Want in Bed, plus her funny story about “sexual debt” recorded at the live show podcast, Risk (14 min).

“46% of women would rather have a good-night’s sleep than sex … and half don’t have an orgasm.”

So many questions, so few answers:

♥ Why do we ‘just do it?’

♥ Why do we not work at being better at sex – good lovers, not just sex partners?

♥ Why do we think it’s as easy as riding a bike?

♥ Why do we not read more about sex?

♥ Why do most women learn about sex from men, when men know so little?

Just because sex comes naturally is no reason to assume we’re good at it. Far from it.

54.6% of women fake orgasms / Men 16.4%

The statistics belie the universal assumption that ‘we know how to have sex’ and the lack of satisfactory performance contradicts most who think of themselves as ‘lovers.’ They’re not lovers, they’re sexual illiterates.

Almost half the women would rather sleep than have sex (46%) and when they do have sex, half fake orgasms (54%). That is somewhere between sad and pathetic. For any of us – female or male – to accept these failure rates is … well, unacceptable – if we consider ourselves more than just a sex partner.

Become a lover: Read, learn, practice, improve, enjoy

The centuries are filled with stories of human sexuality and there is an abundance of knowledge and reading material available and yet, so many women just keep ‘doing it’ with little to no effort to better understand what it means, and takes, to be a true lover – and help him be a better lover. Most flunk ‘Sex 101.’

Melanie Hamlett calls it “sexual debt” – worse than credit card and student debt. It’s not only a debt, it’s a conflict of interest, trapping women between their sexual desires and their sense of ‘serving’ men. Melanie has escaped that trap.

Even the smallest amount of reading could get one to a passing grade, and a lot of reading could make one a straight ‘A’ student of sexual satisfaction. Instead of studying for an MBA, women and men should study for a MSP (Masters in Sexual Performance).

Here are two introductory articles and a couple of books for your reading enlightenment and pleasure:

• Article from Glamour: Forget being Nice – I’m Getting What I Want in Bed >>
• Article from Glamour: Good Sex Matters – And Too Many Women Aren’t Having It >>
• Book Review: Tell Me What You Want – reading and sharing non-fiction can start real conversations about sexual needs and desires
• Book: Conflict of Interest – reading and sharing fiction can start wonderful conversations about love, romance and fantasies.

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