“I’d become terribly afraid—’dick shy,’ the boys my age would say.”
In pre-Google 1996 … we all bought into the mythical value of virginity [which] had the unintended effect of encouraging creative experimentation. Oral sex was okay. Getting fingered. Basically anything besides s-e-x. By 16 years old, I would become one of those girls who had had anal sex and still called herself a virgin.
“The living room began to spin. The ordinary day crumpled into itself and, in one perfect moment, everything centered on my body.”
Perhaps unbelievably, it wasn’t until my 30s that I masturbated for the first time—not for an audience, but for myself. With my own hand and a vibrator, I learned how to make myself squirt: not to impress a guy, but to simply get off.