“Choose to Challenge” – International Women’s Day, March 8, 2021

The challenge: Read more sex! The reward: Have more sex

(3 min read)

In our opinion … ‘IWD’ should be any day that a woman does not feel sexually fulfilled. It’s a right, not a wish!

Sometimes, as a woman, I just get tired of challenging every damn thing that needs challenging. It’s endless. And yet, I can’t quit – we women can’t quit – because we’re so far behind in equality that if we pause, hell, we’ll slip further back (World Economic Forum states: “We’re only 68% of the way to gender parity globally”). So, regardless of the climb or how long the road, I’m in!

The rabbit hole of inequality is deep because of millennium of patriarchal digging, and we women aren’t going to dig ourselves out of this hole in a just few years. But, over time, we can. And we are making headway. But we can never stop challenging. It’s a conscious choice. In or out?

In 2021, the International Women’s Day’s mantra is, “Choose to Challenge” #ChooseToChallenge.

A challenged world is an alert world. Individually, we’re all responsible for our own thoughts and actions – all day, every day.

We can all choose to challenge and call out gender bias and inequality. We can all choose to seek out and celebrate women’s achievements. Collectively, we can all help create an inclusive world.

From challenge comes change, so let’s all choose to challenge.

Will you #ChooseToChallenge?

We’ve “come along way baby” but there’s still much to be challenged. So much, that we have to do what we do best, multi-task: First, let’s take a moment and celebrate what we have achieved. Then renew our challenge against gender bias, inequality, misogyny, sexual ignorance and inequality.

Sex work

Nowhere is a woman’s challenge more personal than in her sex life, where inequality is so ingrained. Our collective purpose is to make knowledge and understanding of sex more accessible so women can “choose” to improve their sex lives and lift their sexuality to where it should be. As a corollary, we need to help eradicate the ignorance, shame, guilt, misogynistic attitudes pervasive in our culture.

At Love & Sexcess we’re working to advance women’s sex lives and sex rights and help them find sexual fulfillment, one woman at a time.

Hands up if you’re in on sexual equality

Sex is not the be-all-and-end-all, but it is at the core of who we are as women, and it’s essential to our sexual well-being. And one of the most culturally embedded, ongoing disparities is in sex. And nothing represents this inequality more than the infamous “orgasm gap.”

If we are to choose any particular challenge on the sex spectrum to commit to changing, we think the “orgasm gap” is a good place to start.

We’ve all read the numbers about the gap: Almost all men orgasm all the time, only about half the women orgasm as much as they want, and only 1/3 orgasm with penis penetration and … yada, yada, yada. For all of us, we live this insidious gap.

Enough is enough – actually, the problem is there’s not enough.

So, let’s “choose to challenge” the orgasm gap versus choose to continue the fake orgasms and dishonesty many of us allow in our sex lives.

Challenge our elusive desire

Where’s our desire? Not our sexual desire, our desire to eliminate the gap. Not hope, desire. Not wishing, desire. The vast majority of us want more orgasms but those of us willing to put in the work are in the minority. Even though it’s easy work, fun. And wonderfully rewarding.

Autodidacts have great sex

The secret to great sex is knowing – knowing us, knowing what works, why it works, what to do, how to do it, when and where … and practicing is the best part. Why wouldn’t we choose to learn? Why wouldn’t we want to teach ourselves, be autodidacts carrying out wondrous experiments in sex, sexuality, sexual well-being and sexual empowerment?

From all the women who are self-taught, who’ve been both teachers and students, the depth and levels of fulfillment achieved are … well, magnificent.

It’s a choice

This is about us. About empowerment. About self-respect. About choosing. And nothing is going to change much until we challenge it. First, challenge ourselves, then our sex partners. It’s a choice. Eliminate the orgasm gap? Or live with it?

What better time to choose to challenge the orgasm inequality than on International Women’s Day, March 8, 2021.

Kick-start your curiosity and choosing

Here are a few sources that can help you get started on choosing to challenge the debilitating orgasm gap. Just curl up with any of these excellent books (one will do) and peruse these articles and you’re on you’re way to reducing the gap and renewing your sexual empowerment.

Book: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters by Dr. Laurie Mintz
Book: I Love Female Orgasm by Solot and Miller
Article: The ‘orgasm gap’: Why it exists and what women can do about it (from Today – 6 min read)
Article: What Is The Orgasm Gap? (from Forbes – 3 min read)
Article: What is the ‘orgasm gap’ and what can we do about it? (from Toronto Star – 3 min read)
TEDx Talk: “Orgasm Equality” with Dr. Laurie Mintz (youtube – 11 min)