and take control of your dating and sex life – and the men in your life!
“Fuck him in this case is not physical, it’s mental.”
This short pithy, beautifully candid book, “Fuck Him! Nice Girls Always Finish Single” (we’d say unfulfilled vs single) is written to help you “filter out the bad guys and keep the good ones” [or make the one you’re with better].
The author starts the book by explaining, “I am in no way talking about the sexual act.” We would add. But it will go along way to improving your sex life too.
The book is full of good advice, insights and relationship principles that can go a long way to helping women grow into being a “high-value woman,” a woman who takes no shit from men, gets what she wants and needs and yet, never “plays games” or tries to “impress a man.”
“Do not give a man what he wants. As counter intuitive as this may sound, the more you try to please him by giving him what he wants (even what he says he wants), the more you’re devaluing yourself.”
At times, the book is a little glib and cynical about men – even though much of it’s true – and it gives short-shift to many important and good traits of men. Of course, it’s written for and about women and designed to drive home the need for women to see the worst side of men. That’s helpful but it’s too narrow. There could be much more on what to do when you have “mister right.”
The male profile the author paints is not new, Darwin and evolutionary psychology has told us all of this, and the author’s assertions are a little light on credible sources and reference. He often quotes the many interviews he has done with women as a “coach,” but that falls into anecdotal, not science. However, the narrative serves the purpose of getting women to “show a man the real you” and from that perspective, it is well-worth the read.
If your goal is to strengthen your inner self, bring out the real you, be you, not something you think a man wants, then there’s lots of insight and helpful advice.
A few pithy quotes:
- Men who want to make love to you will wait. They know it’s precious.
- Sex needs to be earned, and sex needs to be enjoyed by the both of you at all times. Please don’t think he’s going to run away if you don’t give him enough sex.
- Trying to be sexy never ever is sexy. It’s perceived as weakness by most men.
- No man wants to be with a woman he believes all men can get.
- Confidence means knowing you have a certain area of your life fully under control.
- The most important quality of every high-value woman is a strong set of boundaries.
- A woman wants to be high value, not high maintenance.
So much of the concept of “fuck him” is anchored in a woman’s emotional intelligence, her ability to understand and manage her emotion and needs, and with that better understand how to manage a man’s emotional intelligence and needs. It’s not easy and takes knowledge and practice. You might consider reading Daniel Goleman’s 1990 book Emotional Intelligence (buy at Love & Sexcess Bookstore – 25% off) and “12 Rules for A Good Men” by Jed Diamond (see our book review).
F*ck Him will help definitely help you with your sexual empowerment and show you how to use self-awareness and knowledge in building the kind of relationship you want, need and deserve.
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