The numbers don’t lie. And they help keep you in the conversation – facts, insights, tips, links and funnies for partners to share, mull, muse, explore and discover.
Women and stress – the hidden disease
From TEDx Talk:
- The number of women experiencing work-related stress is 50% higher than for men of the same age.
- Women aged 35-44 and 45-54 had “significantly higher rates” of stress than men aged 16-24, 35-44, and 55 and over, all of whom had “statistically significantly lower rates of stress.”
- Among the 35-44 age group, 68,000 of women reported stress, compared to 46,000 men.
- In the older age group, 45-54, the figure for women rises to 78,000 compared to 58,000 men.
- Chronic stress can cause your body to produce too much of the hormone cortisol, which can lower your libido. Chronic stress may lead to depression and anxiety, and both conditions can get in the way of a healthy sex life.
- In men, chronic stress, ongoing stress over an extended period of time, can affect testosterone production, resulting in a decline in sex drive or libido, and can even cause erectile dysfunction or impotence.
- Breast cancer infects 1-in-8 women [and stress has a lot to do with it].
Previous Sex by the Numbers posts:
From book: Tell Me What You Want (read book review)
- Almost all Americans who took the survey for Tell Me What You Want (97 percent), reported having sexual fantasies—and most reported having them frequently. The vast majority said they fantasize somewhere between several times per week and several times per day.
- Sex with multiple partners is a staple of Americans’ fantasies.
- When asked to describe their favorite sexual fantasy of all time, group sex was by far the most common.
- When asked whether they had ever fantasized about different forms of group sex, 89 percent reported fantasizing about threesomes.
- 74 percent about orgies.
- 61 percent about gangbangs.
- Men were more likely to have all of these multi-partner fantasies than women, it will surprise many to learn that the majority of women reported having each of these sex fantasies as well.
- Sadomasochism, or the desire to link pleasure and pain during sex, is another extremely popular American fantasy. 60 percent of participants reported having fantasized about inflicting physical pain on someone else during sex,
- 65 percent reported having fantasized about receiving physical pain during sex.
- Believe it or not, women were more likely than men to have fantasized about both giving and receiving pain,
- Hollywood might give you the impression that Americans are fantasizing about celebrities more than anyone else, but that could not be further from the truth.
- Just 7 percent of participants said that they fantasize about celebrities often
- 51 percent said that they fantasize about their current partner often. That’s right—we fantasize about real-life, everyday people far more frequently than we fantasize about the Zac Efrons and Scarlett Johanssons of the world. This suggests that our fantasies may be more grounded in reality than you think, at least with respect to whom we want to be with.
- Our porn-viewing habits: One in seven participants said that their biggest sexual fantasy of all time directly stems from something they saw in porn. Pornography consumption is related to the size and shape of the bodies and genitals that appear in our fantasies, too. For instance, the more porn that heterosexual men watch, the bigger women’s breasts are in their fantasies. Likewise, the more porn that heterosexual women watch, the bigger men’s penises are in their fantasies.
- We often become different people in our sexual fantasies. Most participants reported that, when they appear in their own fantasies, they change themselves in some way, whether it’s having a different body shape, genital appearance, or personality. This tendency to fantasize about changing one’s physical or psychological characteristics sometimes reflects deep-seated insecurities.
- Americans’ political leanings speak volumes about the nature of their sexual fantasies. For example, compared to Democrats, Republicans were more likely to fantasize about sexual activities that are typically considered immoral—like infidelity and orgies—or taboo—like voyeurism.
- The more political and moral restrictions we have placed on our sexuality, the more intensely we fantasize about breaking free of them.
- Less than one-third of participants said they had previously acted out their biggest sexual fantasy. The remainder reported holding back for a range of reasons, but especially due to uncertainty about how to act on it and fears that one’s partner would disapprove of and/or be unwilling to participate in the activity.
BDSM facts and fantasies:
People participating in BDSM are generally:
- More extroverted
- More open to new experiences
- More conscientious
- More secure in their relationships
- More sexually adventurous
- Less stressed
How many engage in bondage play? Yes – 27% No – 73%
- 64.6% of women had fantasies about being dominated sexually.
- 53.3% of men had similar fantasies.
- 46.7% of women had fantasies about dominating someone else.
- 59.6% of men had similar fantasies
- 52.1% of women had fantasies about being tied up for sexual pleasure.
- 41.7% of women had fantasies about tying someone else up.
- 23.8% of women had fantasies about spanking or whipping someone for sexual pleasure.
- 36.3% of women had fantasies about being spanked or whipped for sexual pleasure.
Misogyny and sexism are deeply embedded in women’s lives, dismissing, suppressing and killing them
- In school: Classroom interactions between teachers and students put males in the spotlight, and relegate females to the sidelines. Studies of teacher discourse underscore male dominance in the classroom. Teachers unconsciously make males the focus of instruction, giving them more frequent and more precise attention.
- At work: A study showed that eight of the ten writers for The Guardian to get the most hate mail were women; the other two being nonwhite men.
- Getting a job:
- Women competing with men for male-dominated roles are doubly likely to be punished and rejected and are perceived as having more of the qualities they are less permitted to have than their identically-described male counterparts.
- Despite exactly the same qualifications, the vast majority of participants (86 percent – our italics) judged James more competent than Andrea when asked to compare them. But the two of them came off as similarly likeable.
- Voting (USA):
- Over half the white women who voted in the general in 2016 cast their ballots for Donald Trump over Clinton. It turns out that women penalize highly successful women just as much as men do …. This supported the researchers’ hypothesis that penalizing successful women serves an ego-protective function (only) for other women. It defuses the threatening sense that a similar—and similarly good, decent, and/or “real” woman—is more competent or accomplished than they are. And, tellingly, it appears that this is linked to a lack of self-belief that can be assuaged by positive feedback.
- White women had additional psychological and social incentives to support Trump and forgive him his misogyny (among other things). Such incentives are due to the fact that (1) on average, white women are considerably likelier than their nonwhite counterparts to be partnered with a Trump supporter, and (2) again, on average, relatedly in some cases, white women would generally have greater incentives, and hence corresponding dispositions, to try to get or stay on the good side of powerful white men of Trump’s genre.
- Voters were several orders of magnitude likelier to defect from a female nominee from their own party to a male nominee from the opposing one, compared with vice versa.
- “The vast majority of domestic violence perpetrators recorded by the police were found to be men (92%) and their victims mainly female (91%). Many more repeat incidents were also recorded for male than for female perpetrators. This pattern has been found to be typical in police records and reflects the greater impact on women of such abuse.
- On an average day (our italics) in the United States, there are between two and three intimate partner homicides.
- The risk of being murdered by a former intimate partner is higher during the two weeks after a woman leaves the relationship than at any other point by a factor of around seventy. [OMG!]
Where to live for the best Happiness Curve
- According to the 2016 World Happiness Report, six of the world’s eight happiest countries were in Scandinavia (Denmark, Finland, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway and Sweden).
- Germany is a fairly happy country—sixteenth in the world, according to the 2016 World Happiness Report—but the clock seems to be set somewhat differently there because happiness does not bottom out until the mid-fifties. On average, Germans live through more years of downswing than upswing.
- Don’t pick Russia. In the 2016 World Happiness Report it was the world’s fifty-sixth happiest country, and the curve does not turn until the average person is dead.
- They found the turning point was earliest (age forty-seven) in the happiest countries and latest (age sixty-two) in the least happy ones. In other words, they found a kind of rich-get-richer phenomenon: people in happier countries not only enjoy higher levels of life satisfaction, they also enjoy more years of rising satisfaction because they get past their midlife dip earlier.
- In China, they have accomplished one of the most staggeringly increases in all of human average life expectancy. Since being in the low forties in 1960, it has risen to the mid-seventies today, an increase of more than thirty years in just two generations.
- OMG, it’s down hill for the first half (see: “Average life satisfaction by age” graph).
For the rest of the facts, you’ll have to read the book: Available at Love & Sexcess Bookstore (25% off) >>
Top ten research findings of Women’s Preference for Penis Size
- The average erect penis length was estimated as 6 inches (15.2 cm) and circumference as 5 inches (12.7 cm).
- Women accurately recalled size and prefer penises only slightly larger than average.
- A preference with different partners was a key finding: Slightly larger circumference and length for one-time partners versus long-term partners. [See more findings below].
- One-time partner preference: Length: 6.4 inches (16.3 cm); circumference: 5.0 inches (12.7).
- Long-term partner preference: Length: 6.3 inches (16.0 cm); circumference: 4.8 inches (12.2).
- In a long-term partner, compared to a one-time partner, women may prefer a smaller penis size for physical comfort and a preference for less masculinity in a long-term partner . This given that women typically experience more pleasurable and orgasmic sex in longer-term relationships ,
- They might prefer a larger penis for short-term sex partly so the increased physical sensation compensates for the reduced psychological connection.
- Novelty itself contributes to pleasure , so seeking a more novel-sized penis may be consistent with a goal to pursue pleasure primarily in one-time partners.
- Women value intelligence over attractiveness for long-term versus short-term, partners .
- Women might shift their preferences for penis size depending on the type and duration of sexual relationship.
For all the numbers, read essay: Does size matter? Not as much as sexual illiteracy! >>
The G-spot does not exist
- “Where is the G-spot?” has been searched more times than Michaels Jordan and Jackson.
- “$1,800 G-spot shots meant to plump yours for extra pleasure.” [from Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s shop for scamming women].
- The G-spot economy is booming: G-spot vibrators, condoms, lubes, even workshops. [“Looking for love in all the wrong places.”]
- 11% of women have avoided sex because they can’t find their G-spot.
- 44% of women have felt frustration, confusion, or anxiety while trying to locate their G-spot.
- 31% of women say their partner has gotten frustrated while searching for her G-spot. [“It’s like looking for UFOs.”]
- 80 percent of the men in Cosmo’s survey said they believe every woman has a G-spot; nearly 60 percent called it the “best way” for a female partner to achieve pleasure.[Ignorance breeds ignorance, giving birth to denial.]
- 22 percent of guys say that finding a woman’s G-spot is the number one goal of sex. [Yikes. Someone has to smarten men up.]
- More than half of the women in Cosmo’s survey reported feeling inadequate or frustrated knowing that others are able to orgasm in a way they can’t. [Read Come As You Are, Chapter 8]
- In 2006, a biopsy of women’s vaginas turned up nothing.
- In 2012, a group of doctors reviewed every single piece of known data on record and found no proof that the G-spot exists.
- In 2017, in the most recent and largest postmortem study to date done on 13 cadavers, researchers looked again: still nothing.
- The term G-spot was named after Ernst Gräfenberg, and Beverly Whipple et al, authors of The G-Spot, coined it in 1982 – despite having it all wrong for four decades.
Semen and sperm: quantity doesn’t mean quality
[Taken partially from the book Passionista by Dr. Ian Kerner, The Penis Book by Joseph Cohen and research studies]
- The volume of male semen has little to do with the quality and success of the sperm: An ounce of one produces millions of the other.
- The volume of semen a man produces in a single orgasm is about one teaspoon (1/6 oz) or 5 milliliters (100 million+ sperm)
- The average amount of semen produced over the lifetime of a male is 14 gallons.
- It takes 768 occasions of male orgasm for a female to receive 1 gallon of semen.
- Math for semen received by female: 6 tsp=1oz, therefore, 6 ejaculations=1oz. There are 128 oz in a gallon. Therefore, 6×128=768 ejaculates=1 gallon of semen. Ergo: A female receives 1 gal of semen from 768 occasions of unprotected male orgasm.
- If a man orgasms, on average, 4/week, it will take about 52 years to produce 14 gallons of semen
- A female orgasm increases retention of semen and sperm.
- Sperm stays viable in the reproductive tract for a surprisingly long time, days – up to 5 days.
- Main ingredient in sperm: Fructose; plus: calories about 5; Protein about 6 milligrams; Fat: 0.
- Average speed of expulsion: 25 miles per hour.
- Average duration: 4 to 8 seconds.
- Average number of spurts: 4 to 8.
- Of course, there are hundreds of millions of sperm in every ounce of semen [we’re not doing the math on that]
Infidelity by the numbers
[From Human Sexual behavior by Judith Mackay]
- In the UK (only source of data but similar in most of the Western World), the identity of lovers is: 33% work colleague; 15% a friend; 12% friend of partner; 40% other.
- 60% of betrayed men find out their partner is having an affair. [Be careful ladies].
- 40% of betrayed women find out their partner is having an affair. [Guess men are better at hiding an affair].
- Over 25% never forgive their partner. [This makes reading Esther Perel’s The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, very important (Read Book Review >>).
- Extra-marital affairs are mostly or always wrong: Women 84%; men 79%.
- Would consider having an affair if the opportunity arose: 33% [Not sure if that’s both men and women, either way, it’s a sad – or realistic – insight into relationships. 1-in-3 would risk a relationship for sex with someone else. Of course, Darwin would say, ‘I told you so.’].
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity – and it isn’t what you think
- In a 2013 Gallup poll, 91 percent of American adults responded that infidelity was “morally wrong.” People condemn cheating at much higher rates than any of the other morally dubious behaviors listed in the poll, including polygamy (83 percent), human cloning (83 percent), suicide (77 percent), and, most interestingly, divorce (24 percent). In an analysis of the poll, The Atlantic’s Eleanor Barkhorn remarked, “It’s difficult to think of any other relatively common and technically legal practice of which more of us disapprove.” [And yet, more than half of us do it.]
- There is no universal definition of what constitutes infidelity, estimates of its prevalence among American couples vary widely, ranging from 26 to 70 percent for women and from 33 to 75 percent for men. Whatever the exact numbers may be, everyone agrees that they are rising.
- Many fingers point to women as being responsible for the increase, as they rapidly close the “infidelity gap.” (research indicates a 40 percent jump since 1990, while men’s rates have held steady).
- In fact, when the definition of infidelity includes not only “sexual intercourse” but also romantic involvement, kissing, and other sexual contact, female college students significantly outcheat their male counterparts.
- Data gathering is hampered by one simple fact: When it comes to sex, people lie—especially about sex they are not supposed to be having. Even under the cloak of anonymity, gender stereotypes persist.
- More than 50 percent of marriages globally are arranged.
- Findings identify three core themes that “represent dragging forces on sexual desire:”
- First, the institutionalization of relationships—a passage from freedom and independence to commitment and responsibility.
- Second, the over familiarity that develops when intimacy and closeness replace individuality and mystery.
- Third, the de-sexualizing nature of certain roles—mother, wife, and house manager all promote the de-eroticization of the self.Findings identify three core themes that “represent dragging forces on sexual desire.”
- “Rather than being anchored in the ‘safe side’ of the continuum,” [studies] conclude, “female sexual desire requires a balance between opposing impulses . . . of comfort and freedom, of security and risk, of intimacy and individuality.
- 15 to 20 percent of couples apparently belong to a category known as “sexless marriages,” which involve fewer than ten times a year. Who knows how they came up with that number but if you have sex eleven times a year, consider yourself blessed.
Relationships’ silent killers
[From two books by Brian Nox: F*ck Him and Are You Scaring Him Away?]
- The ideal praise to criticism ratio in relationships is 5 to 1—five positive comments for every negative one.
- For people who end up in divorce, the ratio is 0.77 to 1. This means three positive comments for every four negative ones.
- Top reasons he loses interest:
- You’re too needy
- You’re using him to fill a hole in your life
- You’re an emotional tornado
- You’re an insecure woman
- Becoming his slave
- Misusing sexual attraction
- Making everything about him
- If a woman makes the sexual bond first there’s no room later for the emotional bond
Sex, lies and video tapes … WTF? Can’t somebody tell the truth?
- 2 out of 3 women have faked an orgasm
- 50% of women don’t orgasm during sex with a partner – that’s often on the partner
- Men climax 95% of the time. 95% vs 50% is selfishness
- Too many men are a “little off” geographically. They need a MFO degree (Masters in Female Orgasm – see article and video)
- tl;dr (too long; didn’t read) isn’t exactly a number about sex but it sure as hell is a glaring symbol of the number of people caught up in the online vortex of ignorance. It’s like premature ejaculation (“too long; didn’t wait”), ignorance in the art, science and truth of sex – which is mainly caused by ignorance in the art, science and truth of sex. Which is not giving a fuck about your partner’s needs.
- Did you know? If a hymen tears or bruises it heals. And the size of the hymen doesn’t vary depending on whether the vagina has been penetrated. And it usually doesn’t bleed.
- 40% of people in a placebo study group for sexual dysfunction reported that the drug (a sugar pill) improved their sex lives. OMG, at least half of their problem is in their head. You too?
- When women are depressed, 50% have a decreased interest in sex, 40% have no change and 9.5 have an increased interest. See mini-story, Grieving Sex. (For men it’s: 35% / 55% / 10% respectively).
Hooking up and sex – when you’re young it ‘ain’t’ all it’s supposed to be
- The proportion of young women ages eighteen to twenty-two who reported having intercourse—seventy-five percent—equaled that of young men.
- Seventy percent of both sexes had had sex before their nineteenth birthdays.
- Only one-third of young women said they truly wanted to have sex the first time they did so, compared to one-half of the young men.
- Two out of three young men said it was better to get married than go through life single, fewer than half of the young women felt that way.
- 8% of high school girls report having had some kind of sexual experience with another girl. For older girls, that figure increases to 14%.
- According to national data (2005) one out of two teenagers between 15-19 has given or received oral sex.
Cheating – numbers worth knowing
From LoveToKnow: Family, health, fashion and entertainment
- The experts at Divorce Magazine note that about 45-50 percent of married women and 50-60 percent of married men cheat on their spouses.
- According to the American Psychological Association (APA), infidelity in the United States accounted for 20-40 percent of divorces.
- The APA also cited that 42 percent of divorced individuals reported more than one affair.
- In a Gallup poll, researchers noted that more than half (sixty-two percent) of partners say they would leave their spouse and get a divorce if they found out their spouse was having an affair; 31 percent would stick it out and not divorce.
- Adultery is still one of the most cited reasons for divorce. According to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, one partner in 88 percent of couples studied cited infidelity as a major contributing factor. Interestly though, the vast majority of couples who divorced only had one partner share infidelity as a major issue.
- Men who cheat rarely divorce their wives and marry ‘the other woman.’ Dr. Jan Halper, in her book on successful men, noted that only three percent of men who engaged in extramarital affairs actually married their mistresses.
- What’s worse, according to noted marriage counselor Frank Pittman, men who do marry their paramours, have a divorce rate as high as 75 percent.
- However, women are more likely to initiate divorce (for any reason) according to Psychology Today.
For more go to LoveToKnow >>
Orgasms – a universal problem
You are not alone, sexually speaking, even though it’s a lonely existence in the realm of non-orgasmic sex. There are many reasons. Here are a few to explore – and fix!
- Women say that not being stimulated sufficiently tops the list of problems.
- Getting on top gives women the most pleasure.
- The average time it takes a woman to reach orgasm is 13.46 minutes.
- Times recorded ranged from 12.76 minutes to 14.06 minutes, however, almost a fifth of respondents reported they never reached an orgasm.
- Most women don’t climax during penetrative sex – with just 31.4% doing so. Oral and other forms of sexual activity were discovered to be just as – if not more – important.
- A huge 95% of heterosexual men said they always orgasm when sexually intimate, followed by 89% of gay men and 88% of bi-sexual men. In comparison, 66% of bisexual women and 65% of heterosexual women reported the same satisfaction, though of the lesbian women interviewed, 86% of them were able to reach climax.
For more see article in Red >>
More info at NHS (UK) >>
7 facts you should know about aphrodisiacs – from Healthline* (see other Healthline articles for more details).
7 foods packed with nutrients that can perk up your libido:
- Meats: Beef, chicken, and pork contain carnitine, L-arginine, and zinc. Carnitine and L-arginine are amino acids that improve blood flow. Uninterrupted blood flow is crucial to sexual response in both men and women.
- Oysters: Oysters, clams, and scallops contain compounds that raise testosterone and estrogen levels and a boost in hormone production translates into heightened sexual desire in many cases.
- Salmon: Salmon, tuna and halibut could enhance your sex life. Omega-3s help prevent the buildup of plaque in your arteries, which imporves blood flow throughout your body.
- Nuts and seeds: Walnuts, pecans, peanuts, cashews, almonds, sunflowers seeds are all good and some are are chock-full of zinc, which aids blood flow to sexual organs in both genders.
- Apples: Along with berries, cherries, onions and dark-colored grapes, are rich in quercetin, which plays a role in controlling inflammation of the prostate gland and painful bladder disorder, by promoting circulation and avoiding erectile dysfunction and low desire.
- Garlic: This herb is a natural blood thinner and anticoagulant properties help blood flow to your sexual region.
- Red wine: The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that one to two glasses of red wine a day increased sexual desire and lubrication in women, mainly because it contains quercetin [more than two glasses and other alcohol does not produce the same effect].
7 science-backed aphrodisiacs to build into your “great sex diet:”
- Maca: A sweet root vegetable that may help boost libido.
- Tribulus: The Tribulus terrestris plant may have aphrodisiac effects in women. More research is needed to evaluate optimal doses of Tribulus, as well as its effects in men.
- Ginkgo Biloba: This herb may have aphrodisiac effects, but study results are inconsistent. It also could interact with blood thinners, so consult your health care practitioner before using.
- Red Ginseg: This herb may boost sex drive and erectile function in men and sexual arousal in women.
- Fenugreek: May help boost sexual desire and arousal in both men and women. If taking blood-thinning medication should avoid it.
- Pistachio Nuts: Pistachio nuts appear to increase blood flow, contributing to firmer erections.
- Saffron: May help increase sex drive in individuals taking antidepressant medications; however, results in other groups remain mixed.
7 popular aphrodisiacs that are questionable as to how much they can effect your libido:
- Chocolate: Compounds in cacao are often touted to have an aphrodisiac effect, particularly in women. However, studies provide little evidence to support this popular belief
- Oysters: While one study reports that they may have some libido-boosting effects in rats, no studies exist to support the libido-enhancing properties of oysters in humans.
- Chasteberry: Studies suggest that this fruit may influence hormone levels and reduce premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms in women. However, there is no evidence that it offers any libido-boosting benefits.
- Honey: It has allegedly been used for centuries to bring romance into marriages. One variety called “mad honey” is even marketed as a sexual stimulant. Yet, no studies support this, and it may contain dangerous toxins.
- Epimedium: Also known as horny goat weed, it’s popular in traditional Chinese medicine for treating ailments like erectile dysfunction. Cell and animal studies provide some early support for this use, but human studies are needed.
- Hot chilies: According to popular belief, capsaicin, the compound that gives hot chilies their spiciness, stimulates nerve endings on the tongue, causing the release of sex drive-boosting chemicals. However, no studies support this belief.
- Alcohol: Alcohol may act as an aphrodisiac by helping both men and women relax and get in the mood. However, heavy drinking may actually reduce arousal and sexual function, so moderation is key.
* Only a proportion of supposed aphrodisiacs are backed by science and if you’re interested in trying the science-backed options, you should start with small amounts and increase the dosage based on your personal tolerance. Also, it’s important to note that natural aphrodisiacs may interact with some medications so make sure to check with your health care provider before trying these foods and herbs.
From Womanhood and Designer Vagina articles:
- Over 200 million girls and women around the world have suffered female genital mutilation (FGM).
- There has been a “marked increase in girls and young women seeking labiaplasty” over the last few years.”
- Dr. Marc DuPéré of Toronto’s Visage Clinic says in the past decade at his practice, he’s seen almost an 1,000% increase in surgical and non-surgical vaginal procedures.
- The number of labiaplasties performed in the U.S. jumped 39% from 2015 to 2016.
- Dr. Bruce Allan, a Calgary-based obstetrician-gynecologist, says for the approximately $8,000 procedure “some women just feel the opening of the vagina is too large from having babies,” noting most of his perineoplasty patients fall between the ages of 30 and 50.
- Over 50% of women have labia minora that protrude beyond their majora, something that labiaplasties look to “correct.” And it’s not like we’re given information on the variety of shapes and sizes vaginas.
From Globe and Mail: Are impulsive teen girls more likely to have a baby?
Quickie impulses can be damaging to your life, and your children’s lives
- Impetuous teens may be more vulnerable … statistics from the U.S. Department of Labor tracked 2,600 women aged 14 to 22 in 1979 and then followed their children until they were 14 years old.
- Girls who become pregnant as teens or in very early adulthood – 20 or 21 – are far more impulsive, not only in their own behaviors but also in their parenting styles. And their children have worse outcomes.” – Dr. Miller
- “The skeletal frames of young teenagers are not ready to handle a pregnancy. They’re at greater risk of needing to have a C-section because their pelvic girdle isn’t big enough to facilitate a vaginal birth. Their babies are more likely to be born at low birth weight and may also be premature.” – Dr. Miller
Read full article in Globe and Mail >>
It may not be “love at first sight” but it sure is sex appeal at first sight – and smell. Sex appeal is largely subjective and undefinable but here are a few interesting facts from Penguin Atlas on Human Sexual Behavior (and our comments):
- 22% of women consider a man’s shoulder blades the most attractive part of his physique. Comment: So guys, chin up, shoulders back, stand tall.
- 32% of men prefer women with large breasts. Comment: So gals, chin up, chest out … but don’t worry because for 2-out-3 men size does not matter.
- 12% of good-looking people in the USA earn more than others. Comment: But “looks” don’t always work in a person’s favor (see article, Pretty Can Hurt Women’s Careers).
- Sex appeal smells – and that’s a good thing. Percent of men and women (in Germany) who find body odors sexually stimulating: Body odor without perfume-49%; With perfume-46%; genital odor-32%; after sexual intercourse-28%; breast odor-21%. Comment: Sex appeal is everywhere and sexual chemistry wafts it “in the air.”
From Penguin Atlas on Human Sexual Behavior – a few facts (and our comments):
- Every day, 120 million acts of sexual intercourse take place around the world. Comment: That’s what you call a common occurrence and yet, it’s such a widespread hang up. Because it’s not a part of a common conversation. Sad. Disappointing. Degrading. Stupid.
- During their lifetime, the average person (in UK) will have sex 2,580 times with five different people.
- Frequency of sexual intercourse in Canada 100-129 times/year; in the USA it’s over 130 times/year. Comment: Come on Canada ‘get it up,” eh!
- Average time spent having sexual intercourse: 15 minutes. Comment: No wonder #6 below is so prevalent.
- Frequency of orgasms during sex with primary partner (19-59 year-olds in USA): Always: 75% men; 29% women / Usually: 42% men; 20% women / Sometimes: 3% men; 21% women / Rarely: 1% men; 4% women / Never: 1% men; 4% women. Comment: Men you have to “help” your partner, 20-29% is not acceptable. Because the result is in #6.
- 46% of women in the USA (damn near half) agree that “a good night’s sleep is better than sex.” Comment: So much for a loving relationship. No wonder about the same percentage of marriages (half) end in divorce.
Today: What you might not have known about 50 Shades of Grey
From The Fact Site – Ten facts (and our comments):
- Author EL James has been named one of Time magazine’s ‘World’s 100 Most Influential People’ – Comment: Yikes! Just for writing fictional, erotic sex stories. Who knew the interest in S&M was so universal?
- She described her books as her midlife crisis. Comment: And many readers were women experiencing the same.
- The books are noted for its BDSM themes (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism).
- Over 65 million copies have been sold worldwide. Comment: That’s a lot of interested women.
- The book rights have been sold in over 37 countries. Comment: Confirming the universality of sex and S&M.
- The book has been incredibly popular among teen and college girls. Comment: No better time to learn and understand the realities of sex, even if in fictional stories. It’s sure as hell as important as Nancy Drew.
- It has been criticized for its prose style and literary merit. Comment: But it can’t be criticized for its social contribution, sex educational value and the enjoyment of fifty million women.
- The Independent newspaper reported on the recession that the 50 shades book had boosted sales of adult toys. There was: a 15% increase in the sale of whips, 60% increase in the sale of blindfolds and a 200% increase in jiggle balls. Comment: Think how much the book improved some people’s sex lives.
- Despite critics, others believe that “if it enhances sex and relationships, so be it”. Comment: Not just so be it,’ How about a couple of ‘Halleluiahs.’ And, ‘Que sera, sera.’
- The series has been dubbed as “Mummy Porn,” as its fan-base is composed of married women over the age of 30. Comment: It isn’t simply porn,’ it’s sex – outside puritan boundaries – and millions of ‘mummies’ love sex – thank god! BTW, it’s worth reading Gore Vidal’s excellent essay on Pornography.
From AARP: Sex in the Fifties (it’s about your age, not the good old days of Elvis, Pat Boone and Buddy Holly).
In the numbers below, only men in the over-fifty category get ratings over 50% –and even then it’s just in two categories (pleasure and orgasms). Hey guys, might want to spend a little more time on your partners needs. Because when you’re over fifty, time is running out.
- 1 in 5 women in their 50s say they’d be quite happy to never have sex again. About 1 in 50 men in their 50s agree.
- 30% of men say they have some degree erectile dysfunction (E.D.). About 23% say they’ve been officially diagnosed with E.D. or impotence (which has increased by 6% since 2004).
- 60% of men aged 45-59 rated their sexual relationship as “extremely pleasurable,” but only 41% of women in this age group agree. They were almost four times more likely as men to rate their sexual relationship as “not pleasurable at all.”
- 29% of men want their partners to initiate sex more often.
- 20% of men and 12% of women have oral sex at least once a week.
- 45% of men and 8% of women say they think of sex at least once a day.
- 73% of men and 33% of women in their 50s say they have an orgasm every time they have sex.
A couple of funnies:
- What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Answer: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
- What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Answer: Beat it. We’re closed.
- What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Answer: One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
From Human Sexual Behavior by Dr. Judith Mackay, World Health Organization
- USA: Good-looking people earn 12% more than others (see Halle Berry article)
- UK: 32% of men prefer women with large breasts. [So relax all you slim, svelte ladies, most men (68%) don’t give a damn].
- Germany: 28% of men and women find body odor after sexual intercourse stimulating.
- UK: 22% of women find the shoulder blades the most attractive part of the male physique. [So shoulders back men, stop worrying about penis size, 1-in-5 women are looking at your shoulder blades].
- USA: 40% of office workers dated co-workers and 9% had sex in the office. [Probably higher before the open-office concept].
- In 21 countries surveyed, only 47% of women would choose their current husband or boyfriend as their perfect date. [Yikes – almost half! Ladies, you’re in the wrong relationship. And men, nobody’s perfect but this is a kick in the groin].
- Worldwide, 60% of marriages are still arranged.
- Canada: 20-29% of 16-t0-45-year olds admit to having been sexually unfaithful. In USA it’s over 40%. [There’s that aw-shucks, non-aggressive Canadian gene – or it’s having to wear all those damn layers of winter clothing, eh?]
Teen sex and pregnancy are part of human evolution and in some societies as natural as polygamy but in western society, it’s always been a problem. Here are a few facts to better inform the conversation.
A few facts
- The proportion of teens who engage in sexual intercourse increases rapidly as they age through adolescence. In 2013, about one in five 15-year-olds and two-thirds of 18-year-olds reported having had sex at least once.
- Fewer than 5% of 15 to 19-year-olds became pregnant in 2013,
- The pregnancy rate among 18 to 19-year-olds was 7.6%
- Among 15 to 17-year-olds it was 2%
- But … it’s still more than 225,000 teens between 15 and 19 getting pregnant annually
- While 18 to 19-year-olds made up 41% of all women aged 15 to 19 in 2013, they accounted for 72% of all pregnancies in this age group (
- In 2013, the U.S. pregnancy rate among 15 to 19-year-olds fell to its lowest point in at least 80 years. It dropped to just above one-third of a recent peak rate in 1990.
- The pregnancy rate among sexually experienced 15 to 19-year-olds (i.e., anyone who has engaged in intercourse) in 2013 was more than twice the pregnancy rate among all 15 to 19-year-olds, a substantial proportion of whom have never had sex.
- Between 2013 and 2017 there was a downward trend in the proportion of high school students who engaged in sexual intercourse from 47% to 40%
From Lapham’s Quarterly:
A few carnal facts on the world of sex from around the world. Knowledge to make you feel proud and patriotic – at least compared to the Japanese. A few numbers for questions in Trivial Pursuit … or to start the serious pursuit of your own sexual, benchmarks.
From Kinsey Institute:
BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism)
- In a small sample there were no significant differences between BDSM practitioners and the general population on measures of psychopathology, psychological sadism and masochism.
- 1.8% of sexually active people (2.2% of men, 1.3% of women) said they’d been involved in BDSM.
- 12% of females and 22% of males reported erotic response to a SM story.
- 55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten.
From Lapham’s Quarterly:
Bodily atrtractions and arousals: Some tongue twisting, intriguing, bound-to-impress-your-partner – or the opposite – names for arousing, attracting, sensual (disgusting) parts of anatomy. Sorry they didn’t have one of a man. In the meantime, have a look and even if you can’t remember the “official names,” remember the erogenous points. We interpret “polymorphously perverse” as many forms of perversion – or pleasure – depending on your point of view.
From Kinsey Institute:
The following only addresses questions frequently asked of the Kinsey Institute and its researchers. [KI] denotes any answer citing Kinsey Institute research.
- About 85% of men report that their partner had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event; this compares to the 64% of women who report having had an orgasm at their most recent sexual event. (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 2010.)
- Men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse; women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse is included. (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 2010.)
- Among ages 18-59, older age for men is associated with lower likelihood of his own orgasm; for women it is associated with a higher likelihood of her own orgasm. Age is not associated with the partner’s orgasm for either men or women. (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 2010).
- Women are much more likely to be nearly always or always orgasmic when alone than with a partner. However, among women currently in a partnered relationship, 62% say they are very satisfied with the frequency/consistency of orgasm.
From Lapham’s Quarterly:
From 10,000 quickies to a harem of 3,000 concubines, here are six of history’s most prolific sexual conquerors, and it doesn’t include Wilt Chamberlain or Hugh Hefner.
From Lapham’s Quarterly:
A few historical, carnal facts on the world of sex on TV. Obviously, Lapham is a little behind and not keeping up with Game of Thrones ‘can’t miss’ sex scenes.