they are in our head, awaiting the quiet power of sexual and loving mindfulness.
Mindfulness is … quieting and steadying the mind; becoming aware of bodily sensations; and learning how we hang on, how to let go, and how to channel meditative skill into passion.
If you ever wanted to invite a new partner into your bedroom, invite Buddha. Seriously! Understanding how the simple teachings of Buddha can lift your sex life to new life-force levels could be as easy as reading this book. It’s a fascinating and deliciously arousing read.
If you are willing to take the mindful time, Dr. Cheryl Fraser offers an opportunity to transform the wisdom of Buddha into a sex life of unparalleled pleasure and fulfillment. As the Buddha teaches, “True happiness is not found in someone else, it lies within.” And Cheryl Fraser, a Buddhist sex therapist, sets out in vivid, easy-to-understand insights and steps, the “loving path to sexual passion and lifelong intimacy.” That’s a destination almost everyone would like to discover. Everyone!
Cheryl Fraser introduces us the the “Dharma of Love and Sex” and the fundamental principle – which we intuitively know – that first, we have to work on our own mind, she calls it, “renovate from the inside out.” Only then can we create blissful love and sex with a partner. It begins when we cultivate mindfulness and “uncover the passion that resides inside us,” awakening our lover within.
For all of us who struggle in some form or fashion in our quest for sexual fulfillment the wisdom of Buddha and the clarity of Cheryl Fraser’s writing, has brought together the delicious ingredients for true sexual awakening.
“Satisfying sex is not possible without mindfulness.” – Lori Brotto, author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness [another highly recommended book]
A quiet thoughtful wake up call
Cheryl Fraser quietly tells us what most of us intuitively feel and yet don’t face. The reality that our problems with sex are not in the bedroom, they are in our head. Stuck in a morass of clutter, chatter, cultural myth and personal hang ups, and aside from “some” great sex, most of us eventually decline into what we too often experience and she what she bluntly calls, “nipple nipple crotch good-night” sex. And the other debilitating excuse, “I’m not in the mood.” In Chapter Nine she declares, “Never say, “I’m not in the mood’ ever again.” And she predicates this on her lifetime belief that good, great or not-so-great sex is all in your head.
Renovating our sexual mind begins by clearing out a lot of old baggage and replacing it with a whole new framework of thoughts and feeling. A few examples:
- Your own mind is the key to uncovering passion
- The answer doesn’t lie outside; it lies within
- Your partner is not the problem.
- Stop believing that love will set you free
- Love is not the answer
- Love is a sickness
- There is no soulmate
- Sex techniques are never enough
- Great relationships do exist. And they are not an accident
Fraser describes the ‘art of the possible,’ from the passion triangle and orgasmic bliss to tantric sex and post-orgasm meditation. This is bedtime reading at its best. And as part of inviting Buddha into your bedroom, she also suggests “making sex your hobby.”
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