Must-read rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (Must-read ratings (1♥ – 5♥) based on the contribution to understanding and enjoyment in love, sex & success)
“The worse thing a woman can do is take desire for granted and assume he should want you just because, well, he has a penis.”
This book is a gift! Literally, in so many ways.
Every woman should read it and every man should read it and then give it to his partner. This is not your average sex-tips and techniques manual – although it’s engorged with blood-rushing advice and hands-on specificity about almost every emotion, hang-up and inch of a man – things a guy never knows about himself and what a woman needs to know if she has any intentions of being a great lover. Regardless of age or experience–or the lies we tell ourselves to support our sexual self-esteem and ignorance – this book will make a woman wish she’d read it sooner. And her man glad she did.
“She is a sexual muse: a Passionista.”
This isn’t Dr. Ian Kerner’s first, rip-the-veneer-off-sexual-ignorance book, in fact, a companion book is She Comes First – to also be read by anyone who gives a damn about being a great partner, in sex, desire and love.
Whoever said, “Ignorance is bliss,” was ignorant, stupid and had a lousy sex life. Because the knowledge Kerner shares in these books puts most of us to shame in terms of showing us how little we’ve cared about our relationships and over coming our sexual ignorance. These books are capable of opening up our sex-lives to some of your wildest fantasies and deepest enjoyments.
“Sex is the one place where, if there’s enough love and trust in the other person’s genuine desire, the sheer pleasure of letting go can be experienced in a concert of all the senses, which is not only sexually cathartic, but can be emotionally bonding in a way unparalleled by any other form of human interaction.”
It’s all about sex, but it’s not. As Kerner explains, sex is a driving force in every relationship but how it drives it, for better or worse, is totally dependent on our understanding of how intimacy, desire and arousal are integrated into a healthy, open and holistic sexual relationship. And it can’t happen without knowledge.
If we want to get the most out of the one thing we can’t get enough of – sex – then the one thing we can’t get enough of has to be knowledge of sex. For the ladies, of his sex. For the guys, of her sex. Kerner states, a woman should “know what it feels like to have a penis, with all the fantasies, desires, fears, and anxieties that go along with it.”
Like our need for sex, the list of things we need to know is almost endless and this book covers a lot:
- Women should know how he masturbates, physically, and his biological responses to each stage – yes, there are physiological stages.
- “Spectatoring” – a person anxiously watches his or her own engagement in the sexual event, rather than being immersed in the moment. Men do this a lot and it’s a huge barrier to full enjoyment, for both partners.
- “Excitation transfer theory” – excitement is transferable from one experienced event to a sexual event.
- Preventing and controlling PE (premature ejaculation).
- As any woman will attest, just because a guy has a hard-on doesn’t mean he knows what to do with it.
- The sex you give is only as good as the sex you get.
- How can a properly administered pelvic massage actually help to lengthen your partner’s penis? And why?
- Do you know the difference between a “local” orgasm and a “global” one and how to stimulate the latter?
- The fit has to be emotional and physical. “If you love the man, then you love his penis … Size is irrelevant. Because most men don’t know what to do with it, anyway.”
- Did you know that men produce significantly higher levels of testosterone when they are being touched by someone else as opposed to by themselves?
- Did you know there’s a biological basis for why your guy turns over and wants to sleep and why you’re still in a state of semi-arousal?
Kerner makes it clear that his goal is to give women “a vision: a way of thinking and being,” which is embedded in sex and in which sex is embedded. Sex is both cause and effect – of many wonderful feelings and, can be, of many debilitating feelings. Know them, know the difference, and know how to become the cause and effect of a beautiful, sharing, expanding, sexual relationship.
“Great sex isn’t about techniques or knowing what works; it’s about knowing how and why it works. From the latest findings on the brain-chemistry of desire to the physiology of snuggling to a review of the three different types of erections all men experience …”
Kerner talks about his experience with couples and mismatched libidos and that the partner with the lower sex drive is often the guy, going as far as to say that low male desire is a silent epidemic, with sex-starved women often suffering in confusion and silent desperation.
The silence, confusion and lack of knowledge are the killers in many relationships and this book is chock-full of silence-breakers, conversation-starters and ways to work through the ‘this-is-normal’ smog that seeps into a relationship. It can jump start getting outside your sexual comfort zones and help make “sex a critical and essential component of your life.” It can introduce for a woman the becoming of a “White Tigress” (you’ll have to read the book to know what a White Tigress is). You can buy The Sexual Teachings of the White Tigress: Secrets of the Female Taoist Masters in the Love & Sexcess Bookstore (20% off). (See other books of Taoist sexual teachings in the Bookstore).
“As one woman I know told her husband, who was insecure about his size, ‘Look, yours isn’t the only penis I’ve known, but it’s the only one that’s been worth knowing.’
Must-reading for must-fulfill desires and must-have sex – and all its attendant wonders!
Buy Passionista at Love & Sexcess Bookstore (20% off),
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