Talking sex means knowing …

WTF you’re talking about!

We’re coining a new term:

Fucking stupidus (compound noun): It refers to someone who fucks without knowing much about what the fuck they’re doing, has little interest in learning the magnificence of sex, and doesn’t know enough to be confident in talking sex.

Girls this is on us!

  • Over half of women fake orgasms
  • Only 1/3 of us have orgasms from penetration
  • 46% of us would rather have a good-night’s sleep than sex

We don’t know the number for how many women don’t talk openly and honestly about sex but we’re sure it’s high, like really high. Of course,  empowered, independent women take charge of their sex lives and talk about it – a lot.

Hell, for many of us it’s harder to talk about sex than ‘just do it,’ whether it’s great or not. Talking is often harder than pretending we have a headache or low libido, and then suffer the consequences of an unsatisfactory sex life.

Let’s talk

Here’s the problem. We’re not going to talk about sex until we know enough and we’re not going to know enough until we do our homework, and we’re not going to do our homework until we have the desire to do it – the homework, not the sex. It’s that obvious and yet, it’s so prevalent among women. Unresolved. Unsatisfactory. Unacceptable.

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.


The foundation of a fulfilling sex life is ‘knowing’ – knowing our deepest self, our deepest desires and knowing the what, why, when and how to explore all that we need.

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice.

We have the capacity and skill – hell, learning about sex is easy and fun. And wonderfully rewarding. We just have to make the choice. To do it! Silence in sex is the darkness in which its glorious fulfillment dies.

Let’s be sexual autodidacts (it even sounds sexy). Like we always say: “Read (watch and listen) your way to a better sex life.”

We are all different with different needs and desires and there is so much to learn and so little time. So, where’s a girl to begin?

Women who read about sex have 74% more sex [worth repeating].

One easy place is here, at Love & Sexcess. We’ve spent years gathering the best in articles, books, blogs, TEDx Talks, podcasts, videos and research and we’ve organized them into the main subjects that women tell us they want to know more about – everything from orgasms and oral to men and masturbation, and much more.

We’ve created a sex library, an oasis, a place to quench your thirst, satisfy your hunger and nourish your sexual well-being. It’s a place to relax, refresh, explore and discover. To use your gift of learning and renew your quest for sexual fulfillment, on your time, at your pace, in your way.

We want you to stir, poke, push, release your innate desire to become a sexual autodidact and discover, first, what’s betwen the covers of a book that can be magnificent between the covers of your bed. ‘Sexplore’ what your inner wild wants, needs and deserves.

BTW, as you become a sexual autodidact you will come across another sexy word, sapiosexual. Sapiosexual (noun): A person being sexually attracted and aroused by someone’s intelligence. Hmm … sounds worth exploring. You can become more sexually intelligent and more sexy at the same time.

Another note. In addition to curating hundreds of articles, books, videos, podcasts and research, we are selecting the best of what we’ve found and creating a series of ebooks on the most important subjects and each containing the 10 best articles. The first in the series, The Best of Orgasms is now available (published Mar. 1/22 – free on our website until Mar. 31/22). Next, The Best of Oral Sex publishes Apr. 1/22. And right after that comes, The Best of Sex Positions, The Best of Mindful Sex and The Best of Sexoomer Sex.

We’re here to help. So browse, learn and enjoy. And sign up for our weekly newsletter and SexNEWS in Brief (3 x week).

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